Blog – Out of the Mouths of Babes

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Below is a random collection of recent oddities from my students in Hong Kong…

3 poem

Exhibit A
Exhibit A: Check out the photo of what little Charles here came up with. Asked where he’d like to live in the world, the little charmer/teacher’s pet decided on ‘Tom’s Heart’ – and who wouldn’t want to set up camp in such a warm, hospitable and splendid location? Prompted to justify his laudable choice, he poetically writes that “it is beautiful, it is quiet”… Indeed, I like to think my heart if far from ugly and loud, however in the next section, the little sod lists what possessions he’d like to take along with him… “A gun (AK47), Wesley and rubbish.” Note how the child went to the trouble of listing the exact specification of armament required, and not only chose to bring along his mate Wesley but also a load of trash to throw around the place. Now I’ll be damned if I’m gonna allow a 7-year-old Chinese kid to barge into my coronary regions and start going nuts with a firearm and his best buddy whilst lobbing litter about…

2 poem

Exhibit B
A few weeks later, I thought I’d embrace the poetic talent in the classroom by setting another task, all with a view to awakening and nurturing what could, of course, be Asia’s next literary genius. Asking the chilblanes to write an affectionate sonnet about their love for animals, imagine my surprise when one of the mischievous adolescents composed this worryingly violent rhyme encompassing cannibalism, canine killing, beastiality and – worse than all 3 – fast-food multinationals.

1 poem

Exhibit C
Finally, as if proof were needed to show that Bush neo-con doctrine was reaching even primary school children on the other side of the planet, this ‘future car’ blueprint designed by a 10-year-old (Exhibit C) includes a must-have on-board ‘anti-terrorist terrorist’ feature.