N.B. For international readers, Horlicks is the insomniacs choice of beverage here in the UK.
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Thank you for your letter detailing my unspeakable and heinous crime of drifting into a bus lane for literally 20 meters in order to turn left, whilst lost and panicked as a new driver in London.
One can only conclude that either your office water dispenser serves infinite industrial-sized helpings of Horlicks to help the staff sleep at night, or that all are quite content with being accessories to this somewhat sinister illustration of an Orwellian police state in action.
Please find enclosed a cheque for the extortionately unreasonable amount of £50 (levied from £100), and a bonus helping of Horlicks for your conscience-easing consumption.
Impoverished charity worker, Leeds.
PS – You can have your bloody leaflet back too. And yes, I’ll have a receipt.